My NEW BOOK

"What the Next Moment Might Bring"
by Jeff L. Howe
 is now  available
 in soft cover and eBook versions.
 


MORE INFO     or     TO ORDER

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       What I Believe...

I am a balding, short-legged, impoverished, native Michigan-American
male.  I’m older than I think but younger than I feel.   I am a father, storyteller, rock collector, harmonica player, bonsai enthusiast and amateur historian.  I’m 0 for 2 when it comes to marriage but 1 for 1 when it comes to kids. 

I’m left-wing but not political, anti-Republican but not a Democrat.  I’m pro-reason and anti-nitwit.   Life begins when you let it.

I live an assholistic life. I was voted “class clown” in high school but I didn’t really
mean it.  I was just kidding.  I was just trying to be funny.

I believe that God is physics and that the Universe tastes like a buck-fifty melon.  Time rests upon a Mobius strip that pinches down to a singularity at its very center.  The Big Bang was us being squeezed through the infinitely tiny sphincter.  The Big Bang is a metaphor for the things that we don’t understand…

I have a force field around me that causes lights to go out as I walk down the street.  It’s been this way all my life.  Honest.  It’s creepy. 
 
You too?  

We should talk.

The Jeff Howe Problem

The Internet is apparently full of bogus Jeff Howes - a fact that another Jeff Howe has already pointed out:  there's the contributing editor of Wired Magazine, a commentator on the New England Sports Network, a drummer in Texas, a poet and writer in Maine, a professional golfer in Canada and a writer for the Village Voice, amongst others.  And then there's even the Right Honorable Baron Lord Geoffrey Howe of Aberavon, former Cabinet Minister to Prime Minister Margarett Thatcher of England.  Please follow the links above if you are seeking these gentlemen.  This is a Jeff Howe public service.

That's why  I decided to be  Jeff "L." Howe. 

I'm the  Jeff Howe of Walled Lake, Michigan State, Marin County, Milwaukee, Vermont, Cape Cod and Pennsylvania - the writer, storyteller, harmonica player, bonsai enthusiast and public geologist.  I'm Hyla's dad, Tim's (Rita, Lisa and Jill's) brother and the eldest son of Poop and Slug.  If that's who you're looking for, then that's the Jeff Howe you've found.

This site is brand new as of January, 2012.   It's a central hub for my various projects and a place where people can reliably find me.  It's meant to be humorous, informative  and interesting... if not a bit irreverent.  (WTF?!)  If I ever get my CD and the Charlotte Whale book finished, you can buy them here too.

So I hope you'll scroll across the bar up above the photo of two old guys at a ball game in Oakland in 1982, or click on the links to your right.   Linger a bit and check it all out.   Leave a comment to let me know you've been by. 

Start with a tune...

Summer Special: Free Lemonade!

What's New

June 18 - Thought for the Day
June 17 - A Kid Locked In Your Car (Story)
June 13 - Thought for the Day
June 7 - Thought for the Day
June 6 - Dinosaur Sand Trap (blog)May 26 - Thought for the Day
May 26 - Universe Standard Time (Science)
May 16 - Thought for the Day
April 29 - Beer Smoothies (blog)

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Uncle Jeff's Thought for The Day

(June 18, '13) 
If ordinary is, well, ordinary... and extraordinary is (gasp) EXTRAORDINARY, how can extra-ordinary be extraordinary?  (This sounds better with a British accent...)

(June 13, '13)
Give 'em an inch and they'll take a yard.
Give 'em your yard and you're out in the street!

(June 7, '13)     Honestly, I’m not completely sure about the veracity of this one but my daughter told me the story and it was corroborated by a classmate, so it must be true.  
    Ultimately this may fall into the category of rural/suburban legend and lore but apparently
there is a wood shop teacher at the local high school who only has eight fingers.  OK so far? 
I mean, being a high school shop teacher is a high-risk occupation when it comes to retaining all of your peripheral body parts.  Where it becomes ironic though, is the reason that he only has eight fingers. 
    Apparently he lost two of them… (wait for it)… in a safety demonstration.
    Anyway, that’s what she said.

 
(May 26'13) On being short:
Those of us
who hug the ground,
we've less to go
when we fall down.   JLH

(May16'13)    I always crush my cheeseburgers before I eat them.  I lean down hard on them with my palms like I’m doing chest compressions and squash them flat. Besides making the tall stack easier to eat, this squeezes the air out and brings the constituent cheeseburger elements within close proximity to one another.   It presses and rubs them together until their juices intermingle.  Cheese becomes meat and mustard becomes tomato.  Cheeseburger becomes me.

Besides…  I don’t need air in my cheeseburger.  I’m on a diet.

About This Web Site

This web site is the place where I have elected to stockpile my various creative efforts.  Links to the following can be found at the top of this page.

My BLOG is a running commentary on those things that I find interesting, important, humorous and/or ironic about life.  It is cross-posted with a blog that I have been posting on OpenSalon.com for 3 1/2 years.  The STORIES page contains the best of published and unpublished short stories and essays.  I have been an avid HARMONICA player since 1972.  This is a collection of the past, present and future of my playing and includes links to live and studio recordings.  The GRAPHICS page contains a slide show of some of my photos, drawings and design work over the past 40 years, and BONSAI links to my writings on creative horticulture.  A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with PARKINSON'S disease; I plan to live-blog it as far as it takes me.

EISTEIN'S HAMMOCK is a series of not-too-scholarly articles on science, geology and the universe.    In addition I have a page that details my research into the CHARLOTTE WHALE, and the on-going search for the OLD ROAD.

And there's more.  Please explore.

Jeff

(As of 2/29/12)